Journal of Heresies

My search for truth in a world of deceit.

Name:
Location: United States

I have what is probably an insatiable desire to search out the answers to what may be impossible questions.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Personal Update

Wow, I have to say I'm surprised that I still get over a dozen visits a week to my blog even though I haven't posted anything for some six months. Sorry I've dissappointed those who were regular visitors.

I started a temporary part time job last April to get some experience, money and a small weekly vacation from my normal life as a stay-at-home mom. I do say vacation, because "work" is very, very easy compared to the job of raising three young children and caring for all the needs of a household. Going "to work" after being at home for five years has also been very good for my marriage and health.

While I worked, my husband had to be soley responsible for home and children for 8-10 hours straight twice a week. He suddenly discovered that when he has cleaned one room and then finishes the next, that the first one looks almost as it did before he cleaned it. Children LOVE to play in clean rooms. He also discovered that when you have three children, you can't just jump in a car and run errands... it takes anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes just to get everyone ready and loaded into their seats, let alone all the extra potty breaks, questions, complaints, and bags that are inevitable.

The second day of work, when I came home it was near our kids' bedtime. So, after I took my shower, I got them into their beds and then went into the living room. My husband came in and plopped down beside me with his hair all roughed up, exhaustion on his face. Then he asked, "Are they asleep yet???" He never had a bedtime growing up and would often contradict my insistance that they go to bed an hour or two before our own bedtime. Now, when I tell the kids its time for bed, he helps to get them up the stairs and on their way.

Anyway, the result of my working has been that my husband finally grasps what my life is like when he works all day, all week, all month, all year, and he is far more understanding when I say that I need a break.

Another great development has been that we are actively in the process of relocating. My husband is actually more excited about moving than I am. We will not be moving quite as far as I need to if I want to pursue an education in ancient civilizations. However, we will be close enough that I could occasionally do day trips to explore resources.

Right now our priority is to move into an area with a very good public school for our children. When our children are older, maybe I'll try to enroll in some classes. But, before we can move at all, we need to find a good job in the new location. I've had a couple inteviews but nothing definite so far. We recently decided that it will be more financially secure for us to wait until closer to spring to move. In the meantime, I am looking for more temporary part-time employment where we are. If I find suitable employment in the new location that can support our family, then my husband will stay with the kids until they are all old enough to go to school. If he find suitable employment, then I'll stay at home until then. Either way, we will have far more quality family time than his current position allows.

Spritually, I've been mostly just processing everything that has happened in the past two years. I have come to terms with my new perspective and with the Most High. I've even been able to discuss my views with a few other people without feeling as though I was about to subject myself to deep pain. I've needed time to grieve and to heal. Now its time to dust off the ashes, bathe, and re-enter the world. I'm not sure, however, that I'll re-enter the spiritual war. The only correct side of the war is the side of truth, but all the recruiting officers lie. Friend and foe look alike.

I won't make any promises about when the next time will be that I write in this blog. However, I do think about the people who I've connected with here, and I will probably write again sometime.

Thanks for reading.

8 Comments:

Blogger Dr. Claude Mariottini said...

Fencekicker,

Thank you for your words about yourself and your family. I know that the past several months have been time of searching and healing. Many husbands do not understand how difficult it is to be a mother and to take care of children. Over the year I have tried to be caring and understanding with my wife and her work as a mother. Now that our children are grown up, I tell my son that he needs to be more involved in helping his wife raise their children.

I hope the best to you as you and your family make this move. I would like to give you two words of encouragement. First, do find time to study about ancient civilizations. Such a study will keep you mentally young and alive. Second, keep on writing the blog. Writing can always serve as a form of therapy.

Welcome back.

Claude Mariottini

12:13 PM, November 08, 2007  
Blogger Dr. Claude Mariottini said...

Dear Fencekicker,

I did not mean to say that your husband was not a good father and husband. Husbands in general don't really know all the work involved in raising children.

I will participate in the discussion your are planning to initiate through your blog.

One thing, since you don't want you name used, I recommend that you edit your response to my comment. Your response contains your first name.

Claude Mariottini

12:52 PM, November 09, 2007  
Blogger fencekicker said...

Oops... thank you for pointing that out. :)

Below is the same post without my real name, as I couldn't just edit the post, I had to delete it.
----------------------------------

Dr. Mariottini,

Thank you for your thoughtful words.

My husband in general is a very good father to our children, but the demands of his work had been consuming his life (and mine). He now sees that if we don't make a career change, he'll never be able to participate in their lives (or mine) beyond the tether of his job responsibilities. And, he is as tired and wounded as I am.

Another bit of good news that I didn't mention in my update is that my husband's supervisor was asked to leave and he now has a new one. My husband and I believe the new one will try to make major improvements to the work environment and repair some of the damage done by her predecessor. Even so, my husband agrees that it is time to move.

So at last, freedom is within sight, and my husband and I are treking towards it together, as we should be. Someday in the near future I'll be able to sit on my own porch with a friend or neighbor, sipping my homemade wine and discussing whatever theological questions strike our interest, without fear of inciting the church's disapproval and the resulting consequences. Once our chains are unlocked, I might even put my real name on this blog, or start a new one under my real name.

I'm afraid I'm hooked on trying to understand the ancient world, ancient worldviews and how civilizations have changed over time. I'll continue to study what I can, when I can. If the heavens smile on me, perhaps I'll someday be visiting ancient sites, interpreting ancient texts, writing books about ancient people and places, pondering the meaning of it all, and considering how it applies to us today.

The move is going to be challenging. We are trying to move about two hours away and because the church has robbed us for the past decade, we don't have a strong financial footing to start with. At the moment we have enough to acquire a mortgage for a modest house in a good school district, but not enough to survive the winter if we moved this month at our current income. Our move is almost completely dependant on acquiring suitable and reliable employment.

Well, this is one longgg reply, and I need to make sure the kids are doing what I asked them to.

Thanks for writing,
fencekicker

6:32 PM, November 09, 2007  
Blogger fencekicker said...

Dr. Mariottini,

Also, I was only concerned that *I* made him sound like a bad father, and I wanted to clarify.

:)

6:37 PM, November 09, 2007  
Blogger David O'Neil said...

I know you have not updated this in a long time, but I came across it during the course of my investigations and because of your interests thought you might want to know about the results of my work. I have illuminated the forgotten roots of one old Bible story: the Samson tale. An overview is at http://www.laughingatthedevil.com/moreInfo.php.

I think it was your Stitchin post that caught my eye. His ancient aliens work is pretty much completely made up, although I can see why someone might reach that conclusion after a very simple surface reading of our ancestors' records. I have opened up a far deeper understanding of some of those records that meshes with the current scholarly knowledge.

Best wishes,
David

4:10 PM, December 09, 2013  
Blogger fencekicker said...

David,

Thank you for reading and commenting on my blog.

I took a look at your posts on your theory that the story of Samson is a story for certain planetary conjunctions during a particular time period.

I think you would likely get along well with my dad. My dad is pretty obsessed about the holy calendar and celestial signs. Although, it seems that my dad tries to avoid allowing for connections between Sumerian concepts and Biblical ones, so that conversation if it ever occurred might get a bit lively.

What I did not get from reading the four blog posts that you wrote, was your view on the reason that ancient scribes may have recorded the event, or why they would do so in that manner. Also, are you saying that all the stories are astronomically based, or just some like the story of Samson? Perhaps you answer those questions in your book.

Thanks again for reading and commenting,

fencekicker



7:40 PM, January 26, 2014  
Blogger fencekicker said...

David,

Also, thank you for sharing in your first blog post on Samson a bit about your childhood experience with God and religion and family trauma. There are others out there who may be going through similar things. I know a number of people who were raised in a cult setting, and as adults are making sense of what they experienced and are working through the fallout. I hope your siblings also made it out and that you and they are healing from the childhood trauma together.

Best wishes,

fencekicker

8:21 PM, January 26, 2014  
Blogger Dr. Claude Mariottini said...

Fencekicker,

It is nice hearing from you again.

Claude Mariottini

2:32 PM, January 28, 2014  

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